Tragedy and Politics

At this point, I am going to go ahead and assume that everyone has heard of, and is just as sickened as I am, the tragedy that occurred in CT yesterday.

20 children, murdered carelessly because one lone human being decided he had no other outlet for his anger and frustration.

This angers me beyond belief.

But what has REALLY gotten to me between yesterday and today (and the reason I haven't been able to say too much about this situation other than the fact that it's horrible...and even that is not a strong enough word.) is the fact that this tragedy has to turn into POLITICS.
Why is it that our society has to be SO incredibly hyperfocused on politics?! I understand that is part of the life we lead, but does it really have to consume our WHOLE lives? It couldn't be enough that 20 babies (I mean, these children were Kindergartners, they were BABIES) had to lose their lives in such a malicious way, but people actually have the audacity to turn this into a political debate. What is wrong with people?!
Ugh.
I know this is rambling and all over the place, but I am having an extremely difficult time processing the selfishness of some people at a time like this.

Horrible, Terrible

Those are two words that describe me as a blogger, LOL!
Sorry for not keeping up my posts.
Once again, here is a post with a promise (hopefully I won't break it this time) that I will try to be better about updating and posting.

Ouch!

Currently laid up in bed in excruciating back pain. Had to practically beg the doctor's office to get me in somehow tomorrow. What did I do to hurt myself? Exercise. My back apparently doesn't approve of me trying to be active. Which is very frustrating. All I want to do is lose weight, be healthy and fit. But, no. I am asking that an MRI be done, just to make sure there is nothing there causing my back pain like a slipped disk or something. Hopefully, it's nothing and I can get back to working out soon.

Radiant, where have you gone?

I've been around. Honestly, I'm just an awful blogger. I always say to myself, "Radiant, keep this blog going! You are going to write in it every day!!" It happens for a couple of weeks, and then I slowly dwindle down to absolutely nothing. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I feel I'm not interesting enough. No need to bore anyone to death. Maybe I'm just lazy. Who knows.
So, here I am again to say: I will try harder (for the millionth time) to write in this blog more often! I promise! (But not pinky...)

Privacy: Privilege or Right?

Something I have been thinking about for awhile now. Is privacy in a marriage/relationship a privilege or a right?

I have been seeing a lot of stories over the past few months of (mostly women) who just happen upon their husbands things (usually their cell phones) and take it upon themselves to take a peek. Then, they find something that can be (all circumstantial, mind you) incriminating against their husband, usually a text or an unknown number. First thought of these women, "He's cheating! What else can I do to catch him and make him confess?!" My thoughts" Bull crap. All of it.

First of all, what kind of trust do you have that you feel the need to be going through your husband's things? Does he not deserve the privilege/right to privacy and to know that his things aren't being gone through?

In opinion, if you are feeling the need to go through your husband's things, there are way more issues standing at that moment then whether or not he is cheating on you. Clearly, there is a reason in which you already no longer trust him. Guilty conscience? That's what I think. It may not be along the lines of cheating, but I feel like there is definitely a guilty conscience over something. For me, it goes along the lines of the cheating spouse (just an example) getting angry and accusing the other spouse of cheating on them; when in reality, they are the ones doing the cheating.

Secondly, it also seems like sometimes these women are just looking for something to go wrong. Searching for it. Usually, these are the women who cannot go a day in their lives without having some sort of drama. They thrive on it. They need it to function. Nothing is more entertaining to them.

Like I said, just something I have been thinking about for quite awhile!

Hey, thanks!

I've noticed I have had quite a few views in the past few days so I just wanted to take the time to stop and say thanks for reading! I hope you come back and read more sometime, maybe even get ambitious and click the follow button! (Shameless, I know.)

Also, don't forget that I also have a Poetry blog where you can access my writings as well: http://radiantwords.blogspot.com/
(Yes, yet another shameless self promotion!)


Thank you! You guys all rock!

June 27th

The day for M's hernia repair: June 27th. It will be an outpatient procedure. We won't find out until the day before the exact time everything is, but I am assuming it's going to be in the morning. I am hoping it's going to be in the morning. I am worried about her not being able to have anything to eat/drink. I think that is going to be the hardest part for her, especially for the car ride there (which is over an hour from where we live).

In speaking with the Pediatric surgeon, my suspicions seem to be true: they believe that babies who are born with gastroschisis are more prone to developing hernias later on. She also seems to think that it is M's ovary that is poking out, and not her intestine. C asked if this should affect her development in anyway, and she said no. But I still can't help but wonder if it will affect her fertility at any point in her life, so I will be asking about this when she goes in for her surgery as I never thought to ask when she was born (her ovaries were outside the abdomen, along with her intestines, stomach and bladder) and forgot to ask at the appointment yesterday.

I know all will go well, as she is a tough little cookie.

Pittsburgh Children's Hospital

Our destination bright and early tomorrow morning: Pittsburgh Children's Hospital. About a 2 hour drive there and we are leaving at 7 AM (which means a 5:45AM wake up for Mommy!) to be there by 9:45AM. This is just an office visit to determine for sure that M has a hernia and what the plan of action will be. I am hoping they are planning on doing more than just poke the area and say "Yep, she has a hernia" like the oh so wonderful ER doctor did last week. I imagine they will, since they ARE pediatric surgeons.
I have had wonderful experiences with Pediatric Surgeons. The team at Buffalo's Women's and Children's Hospital were absolutely fantastic with M's birth and gastroschisis repair and recovery, so I have very high hopes for the surgeons at Pittsburgh as well.
I imagine she will need surgery, as it is common for the type of hernia she has: inguinal (groin).
Hopefully will have an update tomorrow!

Hernias and Mirena

My poor little girl has a hernia (groin). She woke up from her nap today at 6pm absolutely inconsolable and we noticed a very hard, half dollar sized lump by her groin while C was changing her and immediately took her to the ER. Both the nurse practitioner and the on-call doc told us it was a hernia. She is most likely going to be needing surgery, which most likely means a trip to Pittsburgh.
We are going to be scheduling a follow up with her pediatrician tomorrow and will know more after we see him.

On a different note, I am going to the doctor tomorrow to get this dreaded Mirena removed. It has been causing me SO many un-welcomed side effects lately that I just cannot stand to have it anymore. Apparently these are all side effects that quite a few women have, but doctors don't bother to tell you about, or refuse to associate with the Mirena being the cause. Which, I think is ridiculous. I am sick of dealing with the nausea that is constant with the only thing keeping it at bay being eating constantly, which I am sure has lead to quite the weight gain (I haven't weighed myself in quite awhile). My mood swings have gotten out of control lately, with depression being deep these days and I am very fatigued as well.
I am going to be trying the Pill again, so we will see how that goes. Hopefully things will get better after this darn thing is removed!

Child or Monkey?

It's been awhile since I've blogged. I feel like I never have anything interesting to post. Maybe I should just write here anyway! I'm sure SOMEONE will find it interesting.

Some days I wonder if I have a toddler, or a monkey. M LOVES bananas. They are her favorite food. Every morning "Mama, nana!" She had 2 today!! And that's all she asks for all day. Makes me think I gave birth to a chimp!!
I really wish she would start eating more than bananas though. Lately, she hasn't wanted much to do with food. Which is just so odd, because she was the child that would eat whatever you put in front of her. She was like a bottomless pit, up until 2 months ago when she suddenly decided that she didn't want to eat anything. Gah! Silly children.
I hope she grows out of this soon because she is driving ME bananas!

Bad Neighbors

I'm sure we have all had bad neighbors in our lifetimes.
There's the neighbor who is too loud. Blaring bad music with the bass turned up so that's all you can hear through the walls/ceilings. Always having friends over and shouting at each other cause they can't hear each other over the music. I don't have a solution for this neighbor, although I wish I did.
There's the neighbor whose dog always poops in your yard. And never picks it up. My solution (even though I have honestly never been in this situation)? Pick up the dog poop and put it in your neighbors yard. Better yet, on the front doorstep.

I know there are other types of neighbors, but those are the two that come to mind. The latter just because I thought my solution was funny.
The former, well, that's the situation I am in right now.
I live in an apartment complex, so of course the walls are thin. I know it's hard to keep quiet as mice all the time when you live in a place with thin walls. It's simply not logical to ask someone to be that quiet all the time. Especially when you have a toddler that just loves to screech and scream all day long, and you really have no way of knowing how loud you are being yourself. But, it's another thing to be loud and know you are being loud without any concern for those that live around you. That's what bothers me.
We just had a couple with 2 children move in next door to us. They are young, younger than me and my hubster are. They have young children as well. And a bird. We know how hard it is to keep your kids quiet and what not, especially when they are very young and have no sense of being loud and obnoxious. What gets me is that they like to have their music up. Fine. But, they have to have the bass going as well. Not so fine. They also sound like they have elephants running into the walls constantly. It just baffles me as to what in the world they could be doing to have to slam into the walls like that and be so oblivious that people live on the other side of that wall they are slamming into. Like I said before, I know you can't help it sometimes, but for it to be as constant as it is? Just makes me wonder.

Wishy Washy Weather

It's been wishy washy weather in NWPA this winter. If you could even call this season winter. I'm not sure what you would call it!
Temperatures have been way warmer than normal and we've barely had any snow. Not that I am complaining because I, for one, am not a fan of the cold weather. But I wish Mother Nature would make up her mind already and pick something! *cough*WARM WEATHER*cough*
I am excited to be taking a trip to the beach this summer (Presque Isle in Erie, PA which will always be a very special place to me) and to take Madison along with us. I know she will be happy to play in the sand making sand castles and digging holes with her Daddy (looks like I am going to be buying multiples of shovels and buckets!!) and hopefully will like to play in the water as well!

Writings

I have recently gotten back into writing, and have decided (with the help of a friend) that I am going to share my writings through a blog.
I am going to be creating another blog that are solely my pieces of writing, nothing else!

1 Year.

It goes by fast. My darling little princess is 1 year old already today. And is walking and talking and feeding herself. I feel like it was just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital  after a month in the NICU (my little inside out baby). I remember Cody and I struggled for a half an hour to get her buckled in her carseat. She cried the whole way home. And most of the evening/night at home as well. She settled down after that.
For the longest time, she was always too small for her clothes. She SWAM in almost everything that we put her in. She hated tummy time.
Now, a whole year later, she's too BIG for most of her clothes. We put something on her, and her sleeves or pants are too short or we can't button it. She's surpassed the hated tummy time stage and has moved on to walking, trying to walk, and crawling up the stairs all by herself.
It's so crazy how fast a year can go by. Happy Birthday Princess. Mommy and Daddy love you!

Daily Conversations

Most of my daily conversation is with my 1 year old::


Madison, don't touch that.
Madison, don't eat that.
Madison, don't eat that you just got it out of the garbage.
Madison, get out of the garbage.
No honey, I don't want to lick your hands, they were just in the garbage.
What are you eating?
Where did you get that?
No honey, you're not done.
That's right, no no no no no.
Honey, please get your face out of the cat's butt.
Madison, the kitty is sleeping. I'm sure she would appreciate it if you would remove your face from her ribs.

Underneath the Willow Branches

Decided to write something last night. I made a New Year's resolution to write at least once a week. I'm trying hard to keep up with it, but it's not going very well. This is only the 2nd thing I have written since making that resolution. I have such writer's block, it doesn't come naturally to me anymore for some reason. But anyway, here is what I started and hopefully one day I can finish it.

The willow's branches danced in the early evening breeze, offering a welcome relief from the searing heat as Becka and John plopped on the ground, backs against the trunk.
“We should have grabbed some good before we left; I'm famished.” John said, trying to catch his breath.
“Not like we had time you know.” Becka replied sarcastically. “We're lucky we had time to grab the rings!”

Becka reached into the pocket of her black denim jean shorts and pulled out a wrinkled manilla envelope. She turned it upside down, spilling two platinum bands into her blackened, sweaty palm. Her parents wedding rings. She picked one up and held it up into the sunlight:

'Til death do us part.
Little did her parents know how true the engraved quote would be for them. Her eyes starting burning and her throat tightened. She quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stood up, shoving the rings back into her pocket.
“Let's go John. We have to find somewhere to crash before it gets dark.”

I've Returned

Oh hey, I have a blog. I forgot!
Maybe now I will have some time to actually write in this blog.